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The Rant-N-Ramble
Absolute, Unarguable, Irrefutable Proof That Cats ARE Stupid
You may argue, you may disagree, heck you may even like kitties so much that you simply don't care. That's fine. Love 'em if you want too. I got a few I (sort of) care about.
However, after reading this story you simply have to acknowledge the absolute, unarguable, irrefutable proof that at least this particular feline was incredibly stupid.
Here goes....
I was driving my school bus, taking kids home for the day, when I noticed a cat on the road up ahead. It immediately looked up, recognizing my approach. Since it was still a good quarter of a mile away, I didn't worry too much about it. However, I watched to make sure it was getting out of the way.
Well, it didn't. You see, it had a problem, apparently a big problem that required lots of inner kitty soul searching because the stupid thing simply wasn't moving. Instead it was just pivoting back and forth, obviously trying to make a decision as to what it should do.
What was it's problem, you ask? What had it so bewildered that it couldn't decide whether or not it should get out of the way of an oncoming vehicle?
Water.
Yeah water.
There was a big puddle of water on the side of the road and in order to save its life, the poor thing was going to have to wade through it and get its little paws wet.
Yeah.
Now think about this for a moment. Just think about what this means. This kitty was literally DEBATING on what it should do. It was DEBATING on whether it would rather suffer through getting its feet wet on the way off the road OR stay where it was and DIE!!!
It... it... it was DEBATING IT!!!
"Well now, should I walk through the water and get my paws wet? Or stay put and get crushed by a bus? Hmmm.... let me think here."
What the... I mean...
Where is this thing's survival instinct? Where is it's brain?
What kind of a STUPID being would have difficulty in making this decision?
An absolutely, unarguably, irrefutably and incredibly stupid cat, that's what!
No kidding! It looked back and forth three times trying to decide. I had to hit my brakes. I got the bus down to less than 20mph and came within 30 feet before it FINALLY realized water would do less damage to its fur than blood, guts, and protruding bones.
I mean, I simply couldn't believe it. Just couldn't.
Well, fortunately, it did make the right choice, or the wrong one depending on your feelings about cats, and headed off through the puddle and out of the way -- just in time, too.
It was crazy, just crazy.
Anyway, got all new stuff for you in Sarcasm Central. Check it all out and let me know what you think!
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*New The Three Brothers and the Beautiful Girl (with a brick)
Bad lines, head thumping, fish swallowing, and dandelion blowing. It's all there. What more could you want in a short story? Worm infested pitiful sadness? Diamond choking? Got it covered. Just go read it!
The
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*New Why For?
Do you think you understand people? Feel like you have a pretty good handle on the world? Why things are the way they are? Why people do what they do?
Huh! You have no freaking clue! Trust me.
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*New Attorney Helps Man With Genie To "Foolproof" His Wishes
California attorney Rip Offman reports helping a client to "foolproof" the three wishes he was recently granted by a genie.
Get the whole story from Bo Gus!
Plus check out the current Joe Humor Funny Pic "Gel What?" and Funny Vid "A Fist Full Of Ravioli"
Deer and Elk Hunts 2010
One Incredible October
After getting skunked on big game in 2009, I'd say I made quite a turn around in 2010. What do you think?
Get the full story on how lucky old me nailed both a big buck and a good bull in the same season.
Deer Hunt 2010
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Enter Gold Diggers
I spent all summer digging and dredging for gold, and yes, I do have a LOT to share in this section.
But... it's not online yet.
I'm a working on it, I am, but for now there's nothing new here.
However for those of you new to JoeHumor.com there's still a lot of cool stuff from the past already posted. So go check out the Gold Diggers section and check back soon for more new stuff.
JoeK of the Whenever
So, one day I was seriously sleep deprived, and apparently became possessed by the ghost of Rodney Dangerfield because I came up with this:
"Last weekend I spent a night at a Bed and Breakfast. Was the worst night of my life. I had to sleep on a plate with ham and eggs and in the morning was fed pillows and sheets for breakfast.
Turned out the owner of the place was dyslexic."
Seriously, can't you just see Rodney delivering that with his bugged out googly eyes while adjusting the tie on his bad suit? I can, cuz I sure as heck would never tell a stupid joke like that.
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Copyright © 2012 JoeHumor.com, Joe Bingham. All Rights Reserved Worldwide, and universally (just in case there are any aliens reading this). All content on this site is 100% original and written by me, Joe Bingham, for the express purpose of entertainment and fun. At no time is anything intended to offend, insult, or otherwise enrage anyone. If you find yourself upset or otherwise ticked off, relax, I'm just freakin' kidding, OK? Don't take things so seriously. "Life IS a joke, why not laugh at it?" Please just enjoy yourself and let me attempt to enrich your life with a little more fun and a lot more laughs. Thanks for reading --- Joe Humor