Has anyone ever figured out the purpose of itching?

At times, there is noting more annoying than a nasty itch, especially one you just can't seem to reach in order to scratch it.

If you're like me, you've got your ways of dealing with it.  There's that one corner in the house that has a rough edge, that you can scratch your back on.  Or the one wall that has carpet on it that makes a good scratching post.  Or you know just exactly how to sweet talk your honey into scratching it for you.  Or you use your beard on your forearms, or you have a trained cat that will scratch on command, or you scratch with the back side of your house key, or a credit card, or a nail file, the hook side of some velcro, the bill of your hat, the spirals on a notebook, your pocket knife, the edge of your desk, the clip on a clipboard, even a screwdriver or the tip of a pen.

Honestly, how many of you have stuck a pen or a key or some other equally dangerous object in your ear just because it itched?  Oh come on now!  We're all guilty.

The real question here is why?  Why do we have to itch in the first place?

Is there a purpose?  Is there some kind of deep seated physiological benefit we gain from it?  Is it merely psychological?  A bad habit?  Or is it simply a bad practical joke played upon all of earth's species by a higher power?

I can understand itching from a bug bite, or from having something crawl across you, or from something tickling your skin, or from allergic reactions.  But why, oh why, do we itch uncontrollably at times for no apparent reason?

Does anybody know?  Has there been studies done on the subject?  Is there a National Institute on Itching somewhere conducting research trials?  Are they close to a cure?  Is there an anti-itch pill?  Come on now, there must be a pill, there's a pill for everything these days.

I want an anti-itching pill!  

More importantly, however, I just want an explanation as to why it occurs.  Did you know, the average American will spend a total of 97,238 hours over the course of their life doing nothing but scratching an itch?

Ok, so I made that up, but it's probably true.  There has to be research on itching somewhere.  But until I come across it, I'll continue to believe in my personal hygiene manufacturer conspiracy theory.

You see, what is it we do when we itch, besides scratching, I mean?  We shower, or apply anti-itch creams, or lotion, don't we?

Exactly!  And that's exactly what they want us to do!  The truth is, however, that soap and body wash makers, shampoo and skin care companies, and all those involved in personal hygiene product manufacturing have been loading copious amounts of "itching powder" in all their products for years!  

That's right!  They cause us to itch simply so we will buy more products in order to stop the itching!  However, they are the true source of the itching in the first place!  It's true.  I swear it.  And it's high time somebody took action.  Somebody has got to put a stop to this.  And that somebody has got to be me.

Therefore, I'm going to expose this conspiracy and get someone on the case that can put and end to it.  I'm going to bring in authority beyond authority, someone that can solve any issue and get to the bottom of this whole business right away.

That's right.  I'm calling Agent Scully right now.

And if that doesn't work, I'm getting a hold of Spongebob.

Take that itchies!

Hey there's new content in Rockin' My Country today.  The Bo Gus section about Rascal Flatts getting mauled is dang funny if I do say so.  Let me know what you think!

Ramble later,

Joe Humor