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The "Bo Gus" News
"I can't think of anything more applicable to today's celebrities than what somebody's mama probably said, 'If you don't want to be called an idiot, don't BE an idiot.' If you do, don't blame me for reporting it." --- Bo Gus
Antarctica Scientists Feeling Undue "Sexual Pressure"
A recent news report spoke of a year's supply (16,500) of condoms being delivered to Antarctica's scientific research station. {reference: Antarctica base gets 16,500 condoms before darkness (Reuters) }
With only approximately 125 people inhabiting the base, most feel the public announcement of the arrival of such a massive number of condoms puts "undue sexual pressure" on them.
"How am I supposed to live up to this?" one unnamed scientist spoke confidentially to a Bo Gus source. "They sent us 16,500 condoms and are calling it a "year's supply". With this being a public announcement, they effectively just placed a numerical expectation on my sex life. I'm a scientist. I do believe in collecting data and statistics, but come on! This is going too far!"
"There's only 125 of us here," another scientist explained. "It's not cheap to bring supplies down here, you know. 16500 condoms divided by 125 people equals 132 condoms each! That means each of us has to use 132 condoms in the next year or will be accused of wasting research funds. And since one condom is used by two people at a time, usually, that means each of us is expected to have sex 264 times in the coming year in order to save face. I'm not sure I've accomplished that in the last decade."
"What's worse," another interjected, "In order to be competitive, as a man, I have to use MORE than my 132 allocated share or others will be one up on me."
"This is going to put a severe strain on intra-station relations," another scientist pointed out. "I mean, how are we supposed to work like this?"
Bo Gus Commentary: Personally, with Antarctica being as cold as it is, I don't see what the problem could possibly be. I mean, unless it's like a 12:1 male to female ratio or something. In that case, hang on to your penguins.
--- reporting from as far away from Antarctica's condom toting scientists as I can. This is Bo Gus, with The "Bo Gus" News.
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