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The Fat Blob Incident
Includes 20 Full Length Feature Articles plus Bonus Bits and Short Jokes
Available Free ONLY to Team Sarcasm Members
Special Feature
When You Think...
When a hunter thinks of logging, he hears the thunder of a ruffed grouse's wings as it springs from the edge of a logging road. He relives scoping distant clear cuts for whitetails as the dimmest rays of new sunlight brighten a morning. He envisions the creation of new edge habitat and the growth of young plants adding variety to the forest. He imagines the development of new trees and the revitalization of the area.
How wonderful to be a hunter.
When you think of meat, do you think of grocery stores or butcher shops? Do think of price per pound or ease of preparation? Do you worry about calories or cholesterol? Do you consider its origin?
When a hunter thinks of meat, he thinks of success after a hunt. He thinks of the work and skills learned in making the hunt successful. He thinks of making jerky and trading recipes with other hunters. He understands the cycle of nature and he respects the wildlife taken by making the most out of its meat and its memory.
How wonderful to be a hunter.
When you think of winter, do you think of icy roads and traffic accidents? Do you think of scraping frosted windshields or nagging coughs and sore throats? Do you think of frozen pipes and frozen fingers? Do you fear winter travel and long for summer vacations?
When a hunter thinks of winter, he thinks of mallards with set wings dropping out of the dense fog. He recalls the sound of Canada geese honking high overhead as they fly south. He sees the cold breath of coyotes as they howl together before heading out for the hunt. He marvels at the hardiness of wildlife and longs to follow their example.
How wonderful to be a hunter.
When you think of wildlife, do you think of pictures on calendars and postcards, or Sunday afternoon television and animated characters? Do you think of helpless creatures, unable to defend themselves against the rifle or the bulldozer? Do you feel separate from nature and feel guilt at upsetting its balance?
When a hunter thinks of wildlife, he remembers being seventy-five yards from three mule deer bucks as they lay bedded in the sagebrush. He thinks of watching fox pups as they play near the opening of a den where their mother keeps close watch. He thinks of the speed of an antelope, the wariness of a goose, the adaptability of a coyote, or the power of a grizzly. He envisions an ever changing natural world, and excites at the chance to play a part.
How wonderful to be a hunter.
When you think of hunting, do you think of taking and wasting, of recklessness and abandon? Do you think of opportunistic killing and thoughtless behavior? Do you take the time to see the skill it requires or understand the laws and the strategies behind them?
Do you misunderstand, fear, or despise?
As a hunter, I think of responsibility and respect. I think of knowledge and of ethics. I think of a lifestyle commitment, not of a hobby or sport. I rise for the challenge, thrill for the opportunity, and give thanks for the outcome. I learn from the past, strive in the present, and teach for the future.
I am a hunter.
How wonderful to be a hunter.
Indeed, how wonderful to be hunter.
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