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The Fat Blob Incident
Includes 20 Full Length Feature Articles plus Bonus Bits and Short Jokes
Available Free ONLY to Team Sarcasm Members
HuntSpot Journal
I Finally Got A Goose!
Geese have always been hard to come by for me. I always have a hard time hunting them.
Three times now I've been over to my hunting buddy's place where he swears there are "geese flying all over". Each time, there hasn't been hardly a honker around.
Well, I went back to the Snake River near my own home last weekend, and guess what?
There WERE geese flying all over!
The river wasn't nearly as frozen up as it was last time I went out, but there was still plenty of ice to go skidding around on in the canoe.
Eventually, though, we ended up parked on an island out in the middle of the channel.
The geese flew overhead all day long. Naturally, they were way too high, but getting on later in the day they slowly started flying lower and lower.
Finally, both my son and I got one that came within reach.
I was quite happy. I mean, it may have been only one goose, and I know to a lot of hunters that is nothing, but to me it was an accomplishment.
Besides, I had a lot of fun just watching so many birds flying by. Plus, we ended up finding a great new spot on the river that I'm sure we'll end up hunting again and again.
Joe Humor
I Wish I Had Taken My Camera -- TWO
Man, you'd think I would have learned my lesson by now. I mean, after I whined last time I went duck hunting about all the things I could have gotten pictures of if I had just taken my camera, you'd think I would have for sure taken it with me this time.
Well, I forgot it, again. Naturally, I could have gotten some sweet pictures, too.
The truth is, I'm still kind of leery about taking my camera along on a duck hunting trip because I'm afraid I'm going to end up getting it all wet.
However, I really need to overcome that fear because I missed some great opportunities again.
First of all, I could have gotten some good pictures of the icy river. Plus, there were a lot of ducks and geese around, as well as the hawk that "hawked" one of our ducks.
Not only that, but I had a couple of river otters playing around near where I was hunting as well.
I took a break from watching the river to run back to my truck for a moment, and as I looked back I saw two river otters playing around on the icy bank right next to my duck decoys!
What a great picture that would have been, huh?
Later, I had another otter pop up out of a hole in the bank near where I was sitting. Plus, a mink showed up playing around in that same hole later that afternoon.
Ducks, geese, hawks, otters, a mink, and some great winter scenery?
Why, oh why, didn't I take my dang camera?
Not only that, but I could have taken a picture of the idiot that walked up on the bank on the opposite side of the river and proceeded to shoot into my decoys.
I couldn't believe this guy. Yes, there were two live Bufflehead ducks sitting in my decoys. I let them stick around without shooting or scaring them off in hopes they'd help attract more ducks.
However, that still doesn't give this idiot the right to shoot at them. They were right next to my decoys! Not to mention that they were 80 yards away from him, and on the opposite side of the river where he couldn't have retrieved them anyway. He didn't have a dog with him, nor did he have a boat that I could see. He and his partners were pass shooting at ducks that crossed above the bank on a sharp corner.
Still, I actually had to yell out. "Hey! There's decoys over there!" before he stopped shooting and left.
Fortunately, I wasn't sitting right next to my decoys at that time. However, I had been right there earlier, and had shot while sitting there while he was running around on the opposite bank so there was no way he didn't know that I was around or that he was shooting into a decoy spread.
Man, I understand wanting so badly to get shots at ducks, but come on!
You don't shoot into someone else's decoy spread. You don't shoot across the river at ducks you have no way of retrieving. And you certainly don't shoot toward where other hunters have been sitting!
Yeah, I wish I could have taken a picture of this moron and plastered him up here for all the world to see.
It would serve him right to be on the world wide web looking like an idiot because he was being an idiot!
Obviously, I wasn't too happy about this guy's behavior. Hopefully, if he wants to remain a hunter, he will learn from the experience of me yelling at him and he'll straighten up and use some sense from now on.
We all need to use our heads and behave ethically and intelligently while hunting if we want to keep our right to do so!
Joe Humor
Oh How I Wish I Had My Camera!
I hadn't been taking my camera while duck hunting this year. The reason being, I tend to get wet while pursuing ducks and I really didn't want to ruin my camera.
However, a couple of weeks ago not having my camera meant I didn't get a picture of the deer I saw swimming across the river. After that, I decided the next time I went out I'd go ahead and bring my camera.
Well, the next time I went duck hunting was this last Saturday, and I planned on bringing my camera.
However, my 16 year old daughter begged and pleaded to take it with her as she visited a friend over the weekend. Well, as it turned out, the friend might be moving away, so I gave in and let her have the camera.
Oh how I cry and lament now at that fateful decision! I could have taken the coolest pictures this Saturday.
For one, I was on the Snake River, down in the canyon by the town of Hagerman, Idaho. That is always a neat place to be. As well, we hunted in Box Canyon, a short side canyon off of the main river channel.
Box Canyon is quite a scenic and unique place. It is home to the 11th largest spring in the U.S. I mean, it is literally a river coming right out of the side of the canyon. The water is crystal clear with a beautiful blue tint to it. Even as it cascades over a very nice waterfall, you can see a blue shine to the water. I'll have to go back and get pictures of this place as soon as I can.
However, that's not the main reason I regret not having my camera. Box Canyon will be there when I return.
There were two other very cool opportunities I missed that I'll likely never see again.
For one, while we were boating down the Snake River, a very large bald eagle was sitting just off the water on a tree. He was a beautiful bird, very big, and very white on the head. I've seen bald eagles before, but this one was massive.
Plus, as it flew away at our approach, he was carrying off a drake mallard that he had caught! That really brought his size into perspective for me. The duck looked absolutely tiny in the eagle's claws!
Now, as if missing that photo opportunity wasn't bad enough. I also missed the chance to get a few shots of a good sized red fox --- scaling a vertical cliff at a dead run no less!
It was amazing let me tell you. That fox ran right up the rubble pile at the base of the canyon wall, then straight on up the vertical face of the canyon right on up to the top and out. I mean, we are talking mountain goat terrain here, and he didn't even slow down. He was flat out running.
Of course, three hunters with shotguns stepping out of a boat within 50 yards of where he had been might have had something to do with causing his hasty exit.
Oh, but I wish I'd have had my camera. I could have gotten some good duck and geese pictures, too.
Did I actually get any ducks that day, you ask?
Yes, but only two. Everything seemed to be flying a mile high that day. However, the two I did get were spectacular 50-60 yard fast flying excellent shots.
And I can brag all I want about them because I'm also going to tell you how I missed two other opportunities at less than 20 yards. In fact, I shot at one duck three times as it popped up no more than 10 yards from me.
I guess I should have waited until it was 60 yards out and then shot?
Oh well, maybe next time my aim will be better, and I'll have my camera!
Joe Humor
Joe's Deer Chili
Guess what? I actually made some chili that turned out to be pretty darn good.
Amazing, I know, but since people actually ate it and said it was good, I thought I'd share my recipe. So, if you're feeling brave, here it is.
Now, I like to make things simple so just take all of these ingredients, throw them in a slow cooker, and give it a few hours until it's all done.
2 pounds of deer burger (beef would still be good if you don't have deer, I'm sure)
5 cups beans (2 pinto, 2 white, 1 red is what I used, but use whatever kind of beans you like.)
½ medium onion
2 (4oz) cans green chilies
1 (15oz) can tomato paste
Some garlic salt
2 teaspoons chili powder (about)
1 cube chipotle bullion
1 teaspoon or so of Tapatio Hot Sauce
Sprinkle with some crushed red pepper
1 tablespoon beef bullion
Ok, so that's not the most exact recipe you've ever seen, I know, but just start here and fudge the amounts of things toward what you feel you would like.
You might also try a can of diced tomatoes and a small can of tomato paste instead of just the tomato paste. Or, if you like it spicier, throw in more of the chili powder, Tapitio, and red pepper. This mix turned out pretty mild.
Let me know if you try it and how it turns out! (contact me here)
The Elk Win Once Again
Well, the elk evaded me once again. My hunting buddy and I hiked all over Scorpion Mountain on Saturday and didn't find so much as one fresh track of an elk.
It was a fun hike, however, and I did manage to wind up hanging off the side of a rocky cliff while wearing myself out completely, so I'm happy. But there were no elk around. Heck, we didn't even see a deer up there. The mountain really seemed empty.
Later in the day, we headed down to some lower hills to search for elk there. Still nothing. However, I did get to play a funny joke on my hunting buddy.
We ended up finding some neat quartz rocks and agates down around Little Wood Reservoir. While we were doing that, my buddy and I ended up on separate sides of the hill which gave me the perfect opportunity to play a little joke on him.
I sat down, picked out a rock about 300 yards away and fired off a couple of rifle shots. Naturally, my hunting buddy came running back, thinking I'd shot at an elk.
As he came running back up over the hill, he yelled, "Did you get it?"
"Of course," I said.
"Where is it?" he asked.
"Down there," I said, pointing vaguely to the rock I'd shot at.
"Where?" he demanded. He was both jealous, thinking I'd gotten one without him, and upset because it was almost dark and a dead elk meant we would have to stay late dragging it out.
"I don't see anything," he said. "Is it dead?"
About then, I walked up to the rock I'd shot at, stomped up and down on it a couple of times and said, "Yep, it's dead."
"You ####," he yelled back. You don't want to know what he really said.
Anyway, I thought it was very funny.
Joe Humor
(continue reading previous journal entries)